The Subversiveness of BF/WM Marriage

Black women. White men. Now that’s subversive.
Posted by marthasouthgate on Sunday, April 24th, 2005 at 12:35 pm


Nicholas D. Kristoff sounds off on Hollywood’s refusal to feature an interracial on-screen romance, despite the explosion of interracial marriages.
As of the 2000 census, 6 percent of married black men had a white wife, and 3 percent of married black women had a white husband — and the share is much higher among young couples.
Yet …
… When will Hollywood dare release a major movie in which Denzel Washington and Reese Witherspoon fall passionately in love?
For all the gains in race relations, romance on the big screen between a black man and a white woman remains largely a taboo. Americans themselves may be falling in love with each other without regard to color, but the movie industry is still too craven to imitate life.
I agree wholeheartedly with Kristof. Hollywood is behind the curve on reflecting how race is lived in America. That goes for movies and television.
But one thing keeps hanging me up in this discussion of portrayals of race in mass media. Why is the black man-white woman relationship seen as the epitome of racial progress in America?We’ve had this discussion before.
The simple answer is that black men and white women elicit angry stares and death threats.
Don’t be fooled: White women deliver stares that are just as angry — I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Ironically, the white dude involved was a multi-racial Nuyorican who just came out looking white. And black men? They assume that black women who date white men are are just out for dough.
But the truth is more complex (and I posted this same thing a few minutes ago in the comments of a previous post).
As Rajen Persaud explained in an MLive.com article last month:
The stereotypes, especially that of the hypersexual and aggressive black male and the virtuous, pure white female, are a result of social engineering by slave owners of old. They desired a society that would condone slavery, so they created images that would dehumanize blacks and exalt whites.
In other words, the reason why black woman-white men relationships don’t get the hype is because black women have been deemed inferior. We’re either overweight, asexual, undesirable mammies, or hypersexual, always ready never-say-no Jezebels.
That’s why white men get so upset about seeing “their women” with black men (What? Dating down? Couldn’t find a white man who’d want you?). It’s why white women get so upset about seeing a white man with a black woman (Why would you want her? I mean, she’s not as good as a white woman.)
And here’s the kicker: it’s the same reason why black men get so upset about seeing a black woman with a white man (I’m sayin: I’m cool. I got a big dick and e’erythang. Why does she want ol’ lil dick Oppie? It must be the money.)
So to me, the true sign of racial equality in society and Hollywood would be black women being loved (by folks generally, but whites in particular) — and not as rescue projects, prostitutes, or struggling single mothers who have just lost their children and wind up sacrificing their dignity and self-worth trying to change the hearts and minds of racist cops (*cough* “Monster’s Ball” *cough*) — but as equals.